Break up and dating recovering alcoholic dating service
It wasn’t that accountability ensured that people weren’t breaking hearts willy-nilly—every generation has some version of that—but it did ensure that people at least treated one another like human beings. Rejection was delivered in the form of a bad excuse or a total lie, but not replying to someone at all—completely ignoring a person—was rare.It’s hard to imagine now, but when online dating first started, we mindlessly inherited this accountability practice. If we didn’t click, we made something up and continued our search using a modified filter.When I became of dating age, what “dating” even entailed was an abstract concept I’d absorbed from old movies. We “met up.” Meet-ups involved texting your romantic interest around midnight on your flip phone to coordinate a meeting spot close enough to one of your apartments—both convenient but inconspicuous—while your friends hovered at a nearby bar so you had other options. Namely, a heavy reliance on alcohol, complete ambiguity when it came to intentions, and the need for an almost meditative commitment to going with the flow. A beauty that, like most good things, didn’t reveal itself until it was gone.Despite the ambiguity of the meet-up itself, you were generally meeting people you’d crossed paths with in real life.I can’t complain too much about it because I, too, have been guilty of the practice.
Some dates even turned into relationships, at least for a few months at a time.
It’s been nearly a year, and I still relapse here and there. But as is the case with most breakups, it’s for the best. That pit in your stomach when your friend’s friend pours you a drink and says that thing you’ve been thinking for years.
The serendipity of it all, that somehow all the events in your life conspired so the two of you could find one another in this chaotic world, at this otherwise unbearable party, an unbelievable feat; something that, even if it doesn’t work out, is impossible to feel and then completely ignore.
In other words, if you were terrible, people would hear about it.
Accountability was the big old gift horse we all looked in the big old pre-app mouth.