Dating recovering alcoholic woman
Would like to get some mens perspective on if you would date a woman that was in her late twenties and three years sober, hasn't fallen off the wagon yet and is in control of her sobriety. Only a couple times over the entire length of the relationship was it a problem:-Once when I got too drunk and threw up in her room, she got angry with me with a little more behind it than just "don't do that."-Some of my friends were big weed smokers, and she didn't like breathing it in.Edit: Bit more info, she doesn't have a problem being around alcohol in moderation, still goes to gigs in bars and nights out although she will remove herself from a situation if it gets uncomfortable. Just couldn't hang out with them during that, no big deal.-A couple times she got self conscious about not being able to casually have a glass of wine or something at a nice restaurant like other couples.Shunning someone for their past could lead you to miss out on something really good. And frankly, dealing with addicts (recovering or not) is like dealing with a child.As with any situation - I would proceed with caution. It's all about them when they're using and it's still all about them when they're sober.I don't have a problem with having a teetotaler on my hands, but one who has been a full-blown addict before? all in moderation, I would have to quit all those things were I to be with a recovering alcoholic.Also, having spent so much time with them, I have zero time for I appreciate where you're coming from but in terms of the person I'm posting this about she's comfortable being around people that drink in moderation and she still goes to gigs/events held in bars and nights out so she wouldn't expect someone to quit alcohol entirely but I don't think she'd go for someone that feels they have to drink.Sort of like dating a christian when you're an atheist.I have a college friend who is in recovery, and I adore her.
There are good people in the world who have turned their life around and deserve to be loved. It's like some kind of religion, and the followers have this air of "generosity and understanding" that just doesn't ring true when you get to know them.
That said if you've been raised by alcoholics avoiding relationships with recovering ones is probably a smart move.
I have gone a few dates with a guy, a great guy (so far), who's over a year "sober".
Important to note - being many years sober, she was extremely good at comfortably rejecting alcohol and being in an alcohol-heavy environment.
Didn't bother me, but I think she was pretty sad about it.-Once when I met some of her AA friends when I went to support her at a meeting, they clearly thought less of me/were angry about her dating outside of AA.
You sound a bit like homophobes describing gay men and lesbians with authority.