Perfect online dating message template
Apply that to who you (really) are and trust that the right people will connect with it.
This advice is given from the perspective of men seeking women (since that's largely our experience), but it applies to everyone.
It’s the formula to taking your online dating message game to a previously unimagined level. Or the conversation peters out after a few exchanges. And unless you’re an Adonis who runs a puppy rescue shelter, we’re all frustrated. It’s shallow, an incredible time suck, and it’s not delivering on its promise: algorithm-assisted matches that make dating efficient. I want to be up front: this isn’t about crafting the perfect profile.
Want to learn it, and how to have better messaging all around? You’re on the apps, you’re grinding, and every so often you get a match. This is especially true for guys who have moved beyond hookup culture and are looking for dating with some substance. This is about what happens you match, when a tiny window of possibility opens that you can either enlarge or allow to close forever.
What money can’t buy: the tool kit to write solid messages, get quality conversations going, and get dates. This is the most challenging aspect of the entire messaging game. You simply don’t have the time to start the conversation at “hello.” You need to dive right into the second act so you can decide whether to ask them out before they disappear.
The second act is getting to the kind of fun, playful exchange that allows you to share some kind of emotional connection with the other person.
And remember: you’re not just trying to time to meet up. Are they genuinely into you, or just responding to the attention? It’s also important not to misrepresent yourself for if (and when) you meet up with someone.
Getting past the pleasantries and straight into a real exchange is the best way to figure out if they’re interested and you should be interested. As Jack Donaghy once told Liz Lemon: Be open, confident, and positive.
For most guys, however, it means just a few commonsense best practices. Flirt, but keep it G or PG until you’re face to face.I don’t want to insult our readership with this, but for the troglodytes who somehow found their way to Primer: Aziz Ansari uses the perfect app pickup line: “Going to Whole Foods. ”It’s unexpected, overtly nurturing, and signals an upper middle class socioeconomic status. By targeting everyone generally you’re targeting no one.Internal testing at Primer indicates the personal touch works.Step into her shoes for a moment: at some point you want her to meet up with you, an unknown male, in a dark bar or coffee shop she’s never been before, probably at night.In just about any other kind of social transaction, that would be insane.
This article is about the most important skill you can master in online dating that no one’s talking about: the message.