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The : whether Ross and Rachel were on a break or not.
Rachel having an idiosyncratic definition of what it meant ultimately engendered the ongoing fight between the two of them.
But no, you put yourself out there and nobody seems to acknowledge it or shows any gratitude. It’s a way of finding and maintaining power – especially when you may feel powerless otherwise.
By being “right” and demanding that others conform to your world-view, you’re making others validate your beliefs – in essence, expressing power over them.
Worse, it can be hard to admit that there’s even a problem, never mind that we’re the cause.
But this behavior ruins relationships and makes it hard to improve or even form meaningful, long-term relationships with friends, family or romantic partners.
It may be that you want them to acknowledge that you’re uniquely disadvantaged by the universe – that you have barriers and limitations that are out of your control and that things are not your fault.
It may be getting them confirm that other people are wronging you – confirmation that you’re a righteous person who’s maligned by others.
If things went want, and keeping that clear during the discussion helps keep things straight-forward.That being said, however, the more of these questions you answer “yes” to, the greater the possibility that you could be the source of much of the conflict in your relationship.that we’re acting this way – we’re too stuck in our own heads and don’t see how the way we’re acting or responding is affecting the people that we care about.Most arguments – especially in long-term relationships – tend to have two levels: what the fight is about on the surface and what’s mean.Unfortunately, unless you’re dating Jean Grey or the Martian Manhunter, you’re not dealing with a telepath, you’re dealing with an ordinary person and those surface details are going to complicate the issue.
Tell them “I need a few minutes to figure out how to say this. That’s why it’s not your fault when things go wrong.